One Side: Beth
Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.
My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.
Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.
She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.
She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.
I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.
She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.
The Defence: The Content Creator's View
I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.
I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.
I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.
Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.
I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.
I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.
I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.
This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.
Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions
Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?
Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25
When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26
Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27
It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53
She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71
Now You Be the Judge
Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?
